Rusty hulks of Chattanooga’s industrial past dot the landscape of the city’s south side. The area’s long-time residents are a hard-working, hard-partying bunch of proud survivors that kickoff the Christmas season each year on the first Saturday of December. MAINX24 is a 24-hour extravaganza of events ranging from the 8am pancake breakfast start at Firehouse #1 to the music and games featuring celebrity bartenders in the late-night clubs and restaurants
The block-party atmosphere is in full swing when Karen and I arrive around 10am for the Main Street Parade. We enjoy walking the heart of the South Side Historic District to interact with the paraders where they stage before the procession begins. The “Gal in Gold” invited us to “Suck up all the jello shots ya want, we got thousands of ’em.”
The ever-enthusiastic ELF welcomed us on Jefferson Street. It rained all night and was still spitting intermittently from the gray overcast, but it failed to dampen anybody’s spirits.
Karen was a twirler in high school and the baton artists representing the Howard Hustlin’ Tigers were elated to pose with her. MainX24 in 2022 marks the 16th year for Chattanooga’s biggest parade, sponsored by the city’s electric company EPB.
Event organizer Monica Kinsey said, “The more weird and creative the parade, the better.” This haunting crew from Dead Hollow, with their rusty ambulance, fit the bill perfectly.
These local heroes proudly displayed their vehicle-saving truck. The Pothole Patrol’s 35,866 tire and rim-eating crater repairs was impressive, but the driver told me, “Sadly, it’s not a record.”
Chattanooga’s New Suffragettes were marching for women’s rights. A never-ending, worthy cause for these enthusiastic advocates.
Playful Evolving Monsters can be rented or they’ll create your own unique monster. They work with local theatre groups and bring “monster magic” to private events. What a fun bunch.
Not afraid to flash their Disco Balls, these guys fronted for Little Blumes and distributed free flowers to parade watchers.
The parade was scheduled to start at 10:30am. We knew our interaction with the participants would make us late for the cavalcade, but a suitcase was discovered on the route, the bomb squad called and the potential IED exploded, only to find it was harmless. No worries, the parade watchers filled Main Street and the ongoing revelry never missed a beat.
There were no barricades or crowd controllers to keep spectators from posing for selfies or joining the pageant. It made it easier for kids and Karen to collect street candy. I can only hope the fake snow was nontoxic, as plenty of it got into the beverages I was holding for me and my wife.
Santa and his helper were happy to pedal their bicycle built for two out of the parade’s main stream to stop and pose for us.
I never quiet figured out the theme for the box-head fire twirlers, but their weirdly-wonderful routine was welcomed by the crowd.
You must pace yourself to enjoy as much of this 24-hour celebration as possible. Many people go home, take a nap and return for the later events. We were spent after walking 4.5-miles to meet the paraders. We missed the Adult Big-Wheel Relay Races, The World Heavyweight Chili Championship, Wanderlinger brewery’s keg toss, beer stein hold, sack race and one-mile beer run and many others. But, the event we’ll try to make next year was Guess What’s Under My Kilt, where contestants kneel blindfolded, there hands placed at the front hem of a man’s kilt and get thirty seconds to grope under the kilt to feel and guess what “mysterious object” is hidden there. A doozy of a contest, even for the south side’s MainX24 celebration.